PHOTOS BY BILL O'LEARY--THE WASHINGTON POST
 

Diary of a Dinner Party: How a First-Time Hostess Planned, Worried, Cooked--and Pulled It Off

Stefanie Berry Special to The Washington Post  
April 21, 1999; Page F1

Clearly, I am crazy. Or at least that's the conclusion I've drawn several times in the past month. Would a sane person--a sane, single 29-year-old who has not yet received wedding gifts of china and silver, who lives alone in an apartment with a dining "nook" and a table that seats a maximum of six--voluntarily invite 10 people to a sit-down dinner party? I'm talking no help, no gourmet takeout going from plastic container to serving plate. And I'm talking about a real dinner party (the first I've thrown in my Northwest D.C. apartment) with place cards, candles and homemade everything, from hors d'oeuvres to dessert. But I told myself I could pull it off. And, once the dinner became a reality, it consumed me. For weeks I worried about it, spent money on it, changed the menu, changed the guest list, got tired thinking about it, then spent more money on it.

This is how it all began:

Wed., Feb. 10--Decide for the millionth time to definitely give dinner party. Call some close friends, find out their schedules for the next few weeks. Start thinking about what to serve. Must be chic and gourmet but have to be able to prepare in advance. Does anything meet those requirements? Consider vegetable lasagna I've made, but wouldn't call it chic. But can't see myself preparing 10 plates of pan-seared tuna, so wonder about dressing up lasagna. Surf Web for recipes. Print outone for Wild Mushroom and Three-Cheese Lasagna. Sounds upscale--it calls for porcini, shiitakes and goat cheese.

Wonder if I need to serve meat. Then wonder if anyone's a vegetarian. Cringe at thought of my plates (I hate them) and fret that I have only eight. 

Thurs., Feb. 11--Try to pick a good date for all of my young professional friends, which is impossible. Coordinate around a friend and her fiance because I feel I still hardly know him. Finally decide on Saturday, March 27.

Call the definites on my invite list and announce party and date. Make list of those I've called and list of possible fill-ins to get an even balance of singles, couples and guys and gals. As always, need more single guys. Make same list over and over. 

Wed., Feb. 17--RSVPs start coming in. A few will be out of town, but most are saying yes. Start to think about seating. Must split up couples. Decide to serve food buffet-style.

Feel bad about friends I'm not inviting. Hope they don't find out about dinner or won't hold a grudge. Remind myself I have table space for only nine (I make 10).

Sat., Feb. 20--Obsess about menu. Have decided to go with lasagna, salad and bread (simple enough) but must test the Wild Mushroom recipe for comfort. Think about hors d'oeuvres. Recall phyllo dough triangles ate once at party and remember hostess saying she made them in advance. Consult "Joy of Cooking." Sure enough, phyllo triangles can be made, frozen and put into oven straight from freezer (perfect).

Consider two friends' votes for dessert: butterscotch bars, an amazing recipe passed down from my late grandmother. I always make them because they're well loved. And, remember Grandma saying they taste better the next day.

Get RSVP message from a couple who wants to come, but they'll have a house guest that weekend. They wonder if there's room for her. Hmm. A guest I've never met at my intimate dinner, when I may have to awkwardly explain to friends I'm not inviting that there wasn't enough room. . . . Well, want these friends to come, could be interesting to include totally new person. Of course she can come. (Would have worked well if guest were male, but such is life.) Now need one more to complete guestlist; must be single guy since have six girls and only three boys coming.

Make list of all the single guys I know unless had bad date with them.

Sun., Feb. 28--Prepare Wild Mushroom lasagna and fret about expense of ingredients. Might as well be serving filet mignon.

Need tasters. Parents come over for dinner. Am quickly disappointed. "It's a bit rich," says Mom. "Where's the tomato sauce?" asks Dad. Explain I'm searching for good, make-ahead gourmet recipe. Dad says simply, "Gourmet is what tastes good."

Decide to serve broccoli and red pepper vegetarian lasagna I liked to begin with and second one with beef.

Mom gives advice: Set tables at least two days in advance (you're busier than you realize day of the party); jot down menu and post on fridge to remind myself of all menu items (apparently, it's not uncommon for a host to forget to serve something and find it later in fridge or oven); have coffee ready in advance; have dessert plates and coffee cups out on counter; warm plates. Warm plates? Tell Mom she's getting carried away. Only have one oven, and it's for the food!

Wed., March 3--Browse through Pier 1 Imports. Check out napkin rings ($3 to $6) and plain white plates ($4 to $7). Multiply prices by 10. Decide key word of dinner party is "borrow."

Will borrow from Mom's collection of antique silver napkin rings, which I love. Each is unique, and they will go well with silver candlesticks I recently bought (and am excited to use) at antique show with holiday bonus money.

Will also borrow three chairs from guest-friend who conveniently lives in same apartment building.

Thurs., March 4--Engaged friend asks about menu. Discuss hors d'oeuvres options, mentioning mushroom-filled phyllo triangles. Learn that her fiance dislikes mushrooms. Decide to also make spinach triangles.

Sat., March 6--Buy ingredients for phyllo triangles. Prepare to make them, but box says: "Allow dough to thaw for five hours at room temperature." Ugh. Put dough in fridge, make fillings and store, plan to make triangles tomorrow.

Sun., March 7--Triangles, take two. Dough is thawed. Surprised by how thin phyllo is, and how many sheets are piled on top of each other. Quickly learn key to success with phyllo: keep dough moist (brush with melted butter or olive oil and store untouched dough under damp dish towel) and work quickly. Manage to wrap some dough around filling, only they are not shaped triangularly. They are phyllo blobs.

Feel insecure. Worry that food I serve will be amateurish. Remind self that guests are friends. Luckily, blobs start looking like triangles. Finish at 10:15 p.m., some hour and a half after I began. Too tired to clean up.

Mon., March 8--Still need single guy to fill last spot. Call one I've met only a couple of times; he seems nice and could be good to include new person. Leave message.

Sat., March 13--Buy pack of 10 place cards at Paper Store (just enough). Also buy "reminder" notes and send to guests.

Get call from out-of-town single-guy friend who'd previously declined invitation because of schedule. Has somehow changed mind and announces he will fly in at 5:30 p.m. night of the party. What to do about the guy I hardly know, who hasn't answered my message? Haven't heard from him so assume I won't. Single guy problem is solved. Yay! Guest list is complete.

Sun., March 14--Get message from single guy I hardly know; says he'd love to come to party. Momentarily consider calling and explaining there's no more room at tables. Decide I can't "uninvite" him and look at my two-table setup to see how 11 will fit. Will have to do five at the smaller square table and six at the larger table.

Decide to make another appetizer. Search Web for red dip recipe. Plug in key words "roasted red pepper" and find Sun-Dried Tomato, Coriander and Roasted Red Pepper Dip from Gourmet (1992). Will serve with baked pita crisps.

Wed., March 17--Feel overwhelmed. Party is creeping up, work is busy. Tons left to do.

Go to Linens 'n Things and buy 12 white buffet plates--best price around ($2 each). See 20-piece set of my silverware (I have service for eight). Buy it. Also buy curtain to hang in kitchen door-opening. Hate looking in from dining nook and seeing dirty dishes.

Need one more place card (now eleven guests) so go back to the Paper Store and buy another 10-pack.

Go to Crate & Barrel to buy colorful dish towels for breadbasket. See adorable small, plastic salt and pepper shakers.

Spent fortune and didn't even buy ingredients. Take nap instead of grocery shopping.

Thurs., March 18--Borrow everything else from parents-- coffee cups, dessert plates, serving dishes and napkin rings. In apartment, rearrange furniture and spruce up living room.

Move buffet table to position convenient to kitchen and both tables. Cover with neutral tablecloth and lay out trivets for lasagna pans. Cover trivets with colorful dish towels from Crate & Barrel. Steal idea from friend's mother and stack handful of hardback books on table, then drape with another dish towel. Makes perfect pedestal for salad bowl, allows more room on table top for big basket of bread.

PHOTOS BY BILL O'LEARY--THE WASHINGTON POST.
 

Wed., March 24--Realize party will be at the same time as the semifinals of the NCAA basketball championship. Worry about avid fans. Go over list of guys. Call friend and ask if her fiance cares about basketball. "I told him we're already committed," she says. Adds that he asked if games will be on. Ugh. Feel awful. This is not to be chip-and-dip, beer-drinking party. Fear fiance doesn't want to come and will be unhappy whole time. Sympathize because he's from Connecticut and they're playing in Final Four.

Thurs., March 25--Dinner is in two days! Must be organized. Will do dip tonight, make dessert and prepare lasagnas tomorrow, will bake lasagnas "day-of." Start on red pepper, sun-dried tomato dip, ignoring cardinal party rule of serving only dishes you've already made at least once. Soak dried tomatoes, chop garlic, puree red peppers, chop jalapeno chilies (disregard suggestion to wear rubber gloves), add cumin . . . am surprised by number of jalapenos in recipe. Can feel chili fumes risingup toward my eyes. Taste. Fire! Reexamine recipe. Want to kick myself. Recipe calls for "1 to 2 bottled pickled jalapeno chilies." I misread it and added "1 to 2 bottles pickled jalapeno chilies." Throw out unsalvageable fire-dip and go to bed.

Fri., March 26--Wake up with tingling hands and understand why dip recipe suggested rubber gloves when seeding and chopping jalapenos. Go to work wondering if I'm crazy. Will try to leave on time so can begin fabulous Friday night activity of shopping and cooking. Buy bunches of tulips from street flower vendor on corner on way home. 

Decide to remake dip. Go to store and buy more red peppers, jalapenos and sun-dried tomatoes and the rest of dinner ingredients.

Make Grandma's butterscotch bars. Remember making them with her when was little girl and got to lick bowl. Still lick bowl. Glad to have tried-and-true recipe on menu. Remake dip. Turns out beautifully.

Start to prepare lasagnas. Steam broccoli for veggie one; cook onion, garlic and ground beef for other one (make up this mixture as I go). Praise whoever came up with no-boil lasagna noodles. Make double batch of Rich Winter Tomato Sauce to go with lasagnas. Assemble lasagnas in Pyrex pans. Cover with foil and store in fridge.

Sat., March 27--The big day! Wake up early. Get up, go out and buy fresh bread, focaccia and bag of ice. Bake pita triangles for dip, coating with olive oil and herbs. Wash and tear romaine for salad. Wash strawberries I bought instead of other fruit for a fruit salad (original idea) because gorgeous and require no slicing or dicing. Put toaster oven in closet to make more counter space. Write out place cards.

Finalize seating, arrange flowers, cut and arrange butterscotch bars, slice bread, make salad dressing for Caesar salad (must mash anchovies well--several guests mentioned hating anchovy pieces in salad). Put entire mini-chopper machine in fridge because can't get Cuisinart bowl to separate from base. Get cancellation call around 5 p.m. from friend, an NBC producer at the Pentagon. She shares breaking news that U.S. plane has gone down over Kosovo. Understand completely and immediately, though am disappointed. Only in Washington. But now number is back to 10, which fits tables better than 11, and suddenly have even number of guys and girls.

Get call from out-of-town guest around 5:30 p.m. Plane is late. Friend with chairs has already gone to pick him up. Wish I'd already gotten chairs from her.

Put just-ironed cloth napkins through napkin rings. Step back and admire. Love how tables look. Chairs and out-of-town friend arrive around 7 p.m. Get first compliments on how everything looks and help putting phyllo triangles in oven. Put them on cookie sheets right on top of lasagnas, as not enough room in oven any other way.

Guests start arriving at 7:30 p.m., and party is on! Dip and pita chips are big hit. Everyone drinking wine. No one mentions NCAA games and becomes clear that Connecticut game is already over (and they won). Everyone is happy.

Am back and forth between kitchen and living area. Realize guests are fine without me. Keep missing conversations or parts of them. Discover I can't sit and relax without mind soon wandering to cooking lasagna, etc.

Food ready, set it on buffet, everyone sits down to eat. Most choose meat lasagna, though I think veggie one is better. Conversation. Food compliments. Clinking on glass. Friend who's known me longest stands. Gives sweet, unexpected thank-you toast. Dinner continues. Rave reviews over butterscotch bars and long-stemmed strawberries. People move around, linger, dishes to kitchen and dishwasher. Put second NCAA game on but no one really watches.

Everyone stuffed. Start leaving around 11 p.m. Last guests leave around 11:30 p.m. I'm exhausted.

Day After--Wake up still exhausted. Want to stay in bed all day. Apartment is relatively clean, considering. Feel somewhat let down that dinner party has come and gone, but love having so many flowers around. Think party was success, but not 100 percent sure. Wonder if I'll ever put so much time and effort into entertaining again. Think it doubtful.

One Week After--Have gotten recipe requests and lots of compliments on good party. Been thinking of other suitable dinner party recipes. After all, can't keep serving lasagna.

Sun-Dried Tomato, Coriander and Roasted Red Pepper Dip

(Makes about 2 1/3 cups)

This recipe comes from the www.epicurious.com Web site.

3 ounces sun-dried tomatoes (about 30; not packed in oil)

Two 7-ounce jars roasted red peppers, drained

2 cloves garlic, chopped fine

1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin

1 to 2 pickled jalapeno chilies, seeded and minced (wear rubber gloves)

1 teaspoon lemon juice

1/4 cup chopped coriander (cilantro)

1/4 cup chopped scallions

4 ounces cream cheese, cut into bits and softened

Salt to taste

In a small bowl, soak the tomatoes in hot water for 5 minutes. Drain well, reserving 3 tablespoons of the soaking liquid.

In a food processor, puree the tomatoes with the red peppers, garlic, cumin, chilies, lemon juice, coriander and scallions until smooth. Add the cream cheese and salt to taste and puree the mixture, scraping the side of the bowl occasionally and adding enough of the reserved tomato-soaking liquid to thin the dip to the desired consistency. Transfer the dip to a bowl. Serve with tortilla chips.

Per tablespoon: 18 calories, 1 gm protein, 2 gm carbohydrates, 1 gm fat, 3 mg cholesterol, 1 gm saturated fat, 69 mg sodium, trace dietary fiber

Red, White and Green Lasagna

(Makes about 8 servings)

This recipe comes from the www.epicurious.com Web site.

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

3 large red bell peppers, chopped

15 ounces ricotta cheese (about 2 cups)

1 1/2 pounds broccoli, flowerets cut into 3/4-inch pieces and stems cut into 1/2-inch dice

Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

2 cups Rich Winter Tomato Sauce (recipe follows)

Twelve 7-by-3 1/2-inch sheets dry, no-boil lasagna noodles

2 1/2 cups grated mozzarella (about 10 ounces)

1 1/4 cups grated Parmesan cheese (about 5 ounces)

Bring a medium saucepan of water to a boil; reduce to a simmer.

In a large nonstick skillet, heat the oil over moderately high heat until hot but not smoking; add the bell peppers and cook, stirring, until just barely tender. Remove from the heat. In a bowl, combine the bell peppers and the ricotta.

Set a vegetable steamer over the simmering water and steam the broccoli, covered, until just barely tender, 3 to 5 minutes. Add the broccoli to the ricotta mixture and add salt and pepper to taste.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Pour 1 cup of the tomato sauce into a 13-by-9-by-2 baking dish (the sauce will not cover the bottom completely) and cover with 3 lasagna sheets, making sure they do not touch each other. Drop about 1 1/2 cups of the ricotta mixture onto the pasta by spoonfuls and gently spread with the back of the spoon. Sprinkle 3/4 cup of the mozzarella and 1/3 cup of the Parmesan over the ricotta mixture; make 2 more layers in this manner, beginning and ending with the pasta. Spread the remaining tomato sauce over the top layer of pasta, making sure the pasta is completely covered and sprinkle with the remaining cheeses.

Cover the dish tightly with foil, tenting slightly to prevent foil from touching the top layer. Bake in the middle of the preheated oven for 30 minutes. Remove foil and bake for 10 minutes more until the cheese is bubbling. Remove from the oven and let stand 5 minutes before serving.

Per serving (based on 9): 664 calories, 34 gm protein, 76 gm carbohydrates, 26 gm fat, 74 mg cholesterol, 14 gm saturated fat, 615 mg sodium, 7 gm dietary fiber

Rich Winter Tomato Sauce

(Makes about 3 1/2 cups)

1 1/2 ounces (about 1/2 cup packed) sun-dried tomatoes (not oil-packed)

1 large onion, chopped (about 2 cups)

3 cloves garlic, minced

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

28- to 32-ounce can whole tomatoes with juice

Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

In a small bowl, soak the dried tomatoes in hot water for 30 minutes.

While the tomatoes are soaking, cook the onion and garlic in the butter in a large saucepan over moderately low heat, stirring, until softened. Add the canned tomatoes and their juice. Drain the dried tomatoes in a sieve or strainer, coarsely chop them, and add them to the saucepan with salt and pepper to taste. Simmer, uncovered, stirring occasionally to break up the tomatoes, for 30 minutes.

Puree the sauce through the fine disk of a food mill or force it through a coarse sieve set over a bowl. Sauce may be made 1 week ahead and refrigerated, covered.

Per 1/2-cup serving: 78 calories, 2 gm protein, 9 gm carbohydrates, 4 gm fat, 9 mg cholesterol, 2 gm saturated fat, 190 mg sodium, 2 gm dietary fiber

 Grandma Berry's Butterscotch Bars

(Makes 12 to 15 bars) This is a precious family recipe!

1/2 pound (2 sticks) butter, melted, plus additional for the pan

1 pound brown sugar

2 eggs

2 cups flour

1/4 cup warm water

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup chopped nuts (optional)

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees. Lightly butter a 9-by-13-inch baking pan.

In a medium bowl, mix the butter and sugar until smooth. Mix in the eggs. Add the flour, a little at a time, stirring constantly. Stir in the water. Mix in the salt, vanilla and nuts and transfer the batter to the prepared pan. Bake for about 40 minutes or until golden brown and firm. Cool completely in pan. Loosen edges by running knife along sides of pan. Try to loosen center of baked mixture a bit by gently inserting a spatula (the kind good for flipping pancakes or burgers) in at the sides/edges of pan. Invert the pan to release the baked mixture in one large piece. Cut into rows and then into bars.  

Per bar (based on 15): 344 calories, 5 gm protein, 43 gm carbohydrates, 18 gm fat, 61 mg cholesterol, 8 gm saturated fat, 100 mg sodium, 1 gm dietary fiber

Stefanie Berry is associate editor of Washington Flyer magazine.

Cutline/Photo Caption: Stefanie Berry, above, became caught up in the considerable detail of her first dinner party.

PHOTOS BY BILL O'LEARY--THE WASHINGTON POST.